I’m on a journey of self acceptance right now.
That might sound strange coming from someone whose profession is all about helping people find their voice and live with fulfillment. How can I do that when I’m not quite there yet myself?
I believe that sharing the challenges of being human makes me even more qualified to stand next to my clients and help them be human too. By showing up honestly through my challenges and life experiences, I allow others to do the same.
So, in that spirit, I wanted to share what I’ve been learning to accept about my Self most recently.
I’m getting older, and my appearance and health have been changing as a result. I’m not vain, or “high maintenance,” but I do like to feel strong, and to look on the outside like I see myself internally.
You might imagine that when wrinkles and a few extra pounds creeped up on me, I noticed. The teeth started shifting, too. I handled all of it fine. But when my red hair started to go gray, I drew the line. I was determined not to look like an old lady at 35. NO WAY.
I’ve always loved my hair. It’s been a part of my identity that gave me confidence and made me feel pretty. I jumped to find a stylist to cover up that gray and keep me feeling good, and that was something I did for a very long time.
It felt fantastic. Going to the salon allowed me to take care of myself and feel like “me,” and had the side benefit of getting me out of the house and away from the kids and work and my responsibilities.
But somewhere along the way, I started to notice that sitting at the salon for almost three hours to make myself look like I hadn’t been to the salon began to feel less and less like “me,” and more and more like I was avoiding me.
To be honest, if it hadn’t been for the pandemic, I don’t know that I would have stopped visiting the salon every 6 weeks. Not being able to go for just about 6 months, though? I started to see something I hadn’t seen before.
I was actually fascinating to myself. This unrecognizable woman in the mirror started showing me a new definition of strength, and it was so much more aligned with the strength I had been seeking internally that I couldn’t look away or let her go.
I started to get curious about this new me. The woman in the mirror … what had she been through, what did she have to say, and what could she reveal to me about my essence?
As I have asked these questions, I’ve found newer, deeper, and truer answers. Letting go of who I was and starting to see myself now – and not caring one bit about other people’s opinions of what that looks like, what that means, and who I am … that feels like the strength that will sustain me.
It has been an unveiling. An unmasking. A letting go. Not one I’d been looking for, mind you, but one that the Universe saw fit to put at my feet.
I’ve let go of the old way of seeing me and shifted into a whole new sense of self. I now listen to myself more deeply. I’ve gone back to therapy. I’ve worked on my boundaries and started enforcing them. I found a health coach and started taking care of myself in a new way. I got clear on my professional goals and completed my coaching program.
Now … did changing my hair make this happen? No.
Did looking my true Self in the mirror and getting to know Her again happen because of it? Absolutely.
Die your hair or don’t – that’s not the point. Be authentic to you – that’s the point.
I invite you to listen to that voice inside that says something doesn’t feel quite right anymore, to clear away things that have been holding you back.
You will find a new space begin to open up, making room for more things that will allow you to be you. And I promise, you will like how that feels.