Fear is an important survival mechanism. We need it, and I’m not advocating we ignore its signals; our body has a great system for keeping us safe, activating our alarm bells and triggering our hormones and muscles to move and protect.
But I’ve spent a lot of my life afraid, and it’s exhausting.
Fear takes a physical toll, along with all of the emotional and psychological pain it reflects.
Most of my fears have made me live from a place of anxious, uncertain ground. “What if …?” was always on my mind. “I should …” was my refrain.
I’ve been afraid of:
- what people think of me
- hurting people I love
- sharing my opinion
- saying no
I believe we all have something foundational underneath the fears, something that fuels their ability to grow and root into our Self. This underneath? It impacts our awareness of the world and our place in it. It tells us lies. It makes us smaller than we need to be.
I think everyone has a different root, and that it comes from our growing up. I’m wondering if you’ve ever looked at fear that way. As if there is a foundation to it that feeds all the other fears?
One of the biggest lightbulb moments for me was when I heard this: the way we speak to our children becomes their inner voice.
I’m a parent, so that was important to me … but what really got me? Thinking of my childhood Self, my family culture and expectations, my experiences, and how those developed into my inner voice.
And my inner voice said I have to do things to be good enough to love.
So when I talk about looking into where your fear comes from, this is what I mean.
Is your fear actually yours, or has it been passed down to you? Whose fear are you carrying?
You might find it’s fully yours, and that you have valid reasons for it. In which case, your fear is information, and it’s your choice to use it. But you might find instead that the fear isn’t yours at all. And guess what? You don’t have to carry it anymore. It’s heavy and it’s holding you back from your actual, deep knowing … your true voice. Your real Self.
I want you to know that fear is allowed and has its place. But getting curious about where it comes from and increasing our awareness around what it tells us are important things to consider and reduce the control fear can have over your life.
And you deserve that.