If you want to be trusted, be honest. If you want to be honest, be true.
If you want to be true, be yourself.Anonymous
I realized yesterday that one of the things I’ve gained from developing honesty with my Self and others is the ability to trust.
I didn’t set out to do that, but there it was, like a surprise, bonus gift. Lucky me.
It’s not so much that I can trust other people more than I used to. I still have to assess their behavior and consistency and authenticity to know whether they mean what they say, and it’s safe to develop a relationship with them..
It’s actually all about my ability to trust my Self.
Do you know that feeling of being internally divided on an issue? You could go one way or the other in terms of your decision, because you see both sides and you desperately want to be fair?
I lived like that on every single decision with every person and in every context. All the time. I never tried to figure out something by looking at what I thought, or felt, or wanted, or understood. I was too scared.
And that eliminated all possibility of my truth to be part of the experience.
Would you trust someone who wavered back and forth and never committed to a position? Or who didn’t tell you the truth all the time? No! Because they are only consistent in their inconsistency.
Being truthful gave me consistency. And that gave me trust.
So, what if you considered this? Just tell the truth.
It’s the simplest statement. I’m sure you’ve heard it a thousand times before and this won’t be the last time. I know it’s far more difficult to actually do, especially if you fear that telling the truth will create pain or loss or suffering for those you love.
But you could just start here … tell the truth to your Self.
See how that feels, sits in your bones, opens or closes you up. Just observe. No judgement. No action required. Just the truth, inside.
And then we can talk about what to do next.
What do you think? Can you see where honesty creates trust? Are you missing that in your life or have you figured it out? What would change for you if you were honest with your Self?