Listen

My goal on this earth is to help as many people as possible to see, love, and accept their deepest, truest version of who they are, so that they can live the most beautiful and fulfilling life possible – the one they were uniquely made for.

So I talk alot about learning to listen to our Self, because I believe that in listening, we learn; in learning, we connect; in connecting we begin to accept, and then, we can love.

I want that for you!

But the thing about real life is, there’s a lot that can get in the way of all that listening, learning, and connecting.

For each of us it’s different. Maybe we grew up and were taught only to take care of other people. Some of us suffered deep pain and loss. Some were given so much, others not enough. All of us, though, have had to learn what was necessary to stay safe, so that we could survive.  

Here’s what I’m getting at: our experiences, the things we learned? Those taught us what we’re allowed to feel – if anything – and how to express those feelings. And when we don’t learn that our feelings are worth having, listening to, and expressing, we miss out on a huge source of information about what matters to us and who we are.

This is what I hope you can take away from all my talk of anger and fear and trust and what we’ve learned from our growing up … you can feel it. All of it.

It’s worth it when you do. Because when you feel it, you change it … and you change the power it has over you. 

I know it can be scary. You may not know what you’re feeling or feel safe to express it. You may just not want to “go there.” I get it; I’ve been there myself.

I can remember my therapist asking me how I felt about something, and responding with, “I think …” She stopped me right there and shared that over and over again, when I was asked to share a feeling, I shared a thought. I didn’t even know what to say when she asked how I felt.

Why does it matter, though? If I know what I think why do I have to know how I feel?

Because feelings are a reflection of a part of our Self, and a source of great information and learning. They connect you to your essence. How can you love your Self if you don’t know what you’re all about?

I’m a lists and charts and diagrams with labels kind of person – so I’m sharing those with you today in hopes that you find them useful in listening to YOU.

The first is Plutchik’s wheel of emotions, which breaks down feelings into 8 basic categories, and shows their opposites and the nuances between.

The second is much more detailed – but it’s the same general idea. The inside of the wheel is the basic emotion, but as you stay within the color, you work into a finer, deeper description of what it might be. I like this one a lot; it can take me from sad to lonely to inadequate .. which is a whole LOT more information for me to understand in an emotional reaction.

Take a look and see what you think and feel about these. Print them out and use them for when you’re not sure what you’re feeling.

It helps so much to name it. You can listen to it when you know it – and you can honor the truth of your experience when you do.